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Notes from the Head of School: In the Wake of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School Shooting

Posted By Administration, Thursday, February 15, 2018

After sitting through the pain of hearing about the shooting at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida yesterday, I thought about whether or not to send a message to our community. How many messages can one send about these kinds of tragedies, and what can I or anyone add that hasn’t already been said? But upon reflection I realized that not saying something, not acknowledging that it happened, would be the absolute worst decision. Only time will tell whether school shootings have already or will become “the new normal.” What should never be normal, however, is parents and teachers closing doors of communication with our children. These events are tragic and terrifying and anxiety-causing—for adults and children. Even if your own child says nothing, or an adult says nothing, with the possible exception of really young children, you can be sure they are thinking about it, talking among themselves, and/or are worried about themselves, their friends, their school, their communities.

We cannot allow the “new normal” to be one of numbness or passive acceptance. It is critical that we open the conversations amongst each other, and talk directly and openly about what happened. We cannot remain silent. We need to do more, as parents and as a school, to acknowledge that kids today feel pressures from home, school, social media, and their lives that is taking a toll on our pre- adolescent and adolescent population. High schools and colleges are dealing with unprecedented numbers of students who show up on their campuses with anxiety and depression before they are even 18 years old. Yesterday’s event only magnifies the pressures our children face, not to mention the horrendous loss those families and the Florida community experienced. Hearts are breaking across the country for them, as individual fears rise.

Below you will see a link to a speaker next week who I encourage you to consider hearing. I have not heard him speak directly, but the topic is critical and we need to become a part of the conversation and a part of the solutions. Typical advice after a tragedy is to say, “Never pass up a chance to hug your children or tell them how much you love them.” Right now, I would say it is more important to never pass up, and in fact, actively find ways to converse with your children. By converse, I mean listening to your children now is probably the 90% that matters even more than what you say.

There are lots of reassuring things to say to children and each other, while acknowledging the fear and sadness and uncertainty of life. The statistics are scary—but the odds of it actually happening to any one individual or school remain infinitely small. We are continuing to address the physical safety of our community and will continue our safety drills and improve, where possible, our security measures. But the emotional safety of our children and community is equally important. By acknowledging and addressing the underlying stress we and our children feel, we can provide a measure of mutual care and support that is essential for us all.


Paul Druzinsky
Head of School

Event: Dr. Michael Bradley presents Crazy Stressed: Saving Today's Overwhelmed Children
Date: Wednesday, February 21, 2018, 7-8:30pm
Location: The Community House, 415 W. Eighth Street, Hinsdale, IL, 60521
Peel back the cheerful facade that many parents present, and you'll find that many are worried about their children. New research tells us our kids are not all right. Too many are struggling with excessive academic loads, extracurricular demands, sleep deprivation, and 24/7 connectivity, causing epidemic rates of anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and suicide.

While teen brains are hardwired for risk-taking and overactive emotions, their coping abilities are at all-time lows. Dr. Michael Bradley first explains what's driving today's adolescent anxiety, depression, and negative behaviors and what the latest brain development research is telling us. Then, with proven strategies from his three decades of practice and his own years as a father, Dr. Bradley provides practical advice on how to connect with your children to build their life-saving resiliency and what to do when you're facing a major mental health issue.

Tags:  safety  shooting  stress  support 

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